Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Descending into Anima's Mysteries to Liberate my Little Girl

Seaside Seance
CC Jean Stimmell: 2013
My photograph taken in this surreal ocean setting, still speaks to me, taking me back to a dream I once had where I rescued a cute, little girl from an abusive household. While we waited in the yard for a social worker to come and drive the little girl to a safe house, I tried to comfort her, telling her that she didn’t need to worry anymore, that where she was going was safe and she had nothing more to fear. I hugged her goodbye when her ride came and then started walking alone down an old dirt road, wracked in sobs.

Now years later, as I learn to interpret my dreams and marvel at the synchronicity of the world, I think that innocent little girl isn’t just a figment of a dream but someone who, in a very real sense, lives within me, neglected and marginalized by what has been my overly rational, competitive, and obsessive ego. Shamefully, I realize that over my life I’ve been as bad at taking care of my little girl as the abusive parents in my dream.

Since my little girl and I can’t be separated, I want to find a safe house for us both. And I hope that  through my long odyssey toward reconciliation, our destination in now within sight– if only I could stop resisting by daring to trust the universe and surrender to the here-and-now, a state of being beautifully expressed by Danna Faulds:

All you ever longed for is before you in this moment
If you dare draw in a Breath and whisper “Yes.”[i]

The key is “letting go,” so poignantly portrayed by the little girl on the beach in my photographic image, and expressed wonderfully in words by another Danna Faulds poem, this one symbolically awash with the transformational power of submitting to the healing powers of Anima, surrendering to the eternal rhythms of the sea:

Let go of the ways you thought life would unfold:
the holding of plans or dreams or expectations – Let it all go. 
Save your strength to swim with the tide.
The choice to fight what is here before you now will
only result in struggle, fear, and desperate attempts
to flee from the very energy you long for. Let go.
Let it all go and flow with the grace that washes
through your days whether you received it gently
or with all your quills raised to defend against invaders.
Take this on faith; the mind may never find the
explanations that it seeks, but you will move forward
nonetheless. Let go, and the wave’s crest will carry
you to unknown shores, beyond your wildest dreams
or destinations. Let it all go and find the place of
rest and peace, and certain transformation.[ii]

[i] Verse by Danna Faulds. I found it in Tara Brach’s book, True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart (p. 73).
[ii] Danna Faulds poem quoted from http://rachelwcole.com/2011/04/13/let-it-go-from-danna-faulds/

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