When I grow old

Merrimack River, Concord NH, February 2011

When I Grow Old

  

When I grow old, I want to dwell in a cabin by the Merrimack.

And like an ancient Hindu, sit in silent meditation by the river,

cleansing myself in Her sacred waters each day.

With the end of my life's journey in sight

the horizontal realm of my having world is receding:

Things I used to cherish are falling away:

Some things I have discarded by choice:

Quitting smoking was the worst, leaving my mistress of enchantment.

Quitting eating fish and animals was easier but I still have cravings,

yet learning to walk lighter on the earth is worth the sacrifice.

But in most things, I have no choice:

Faltering vision and hearing going to hell,

Strength and memory getting weaker all the time.

Jobs and hobbies peter out while my friends pass on.

My dick becoming a bully stick for the dog.

Yet, amazingly, as all these things I used to have ebb away–

Here I am… not only still here but free at last:

Relieved of the burden of carrying the weight of the world,

Now it’s time to learn just to be.

I’m psyched to start!

I want to run toward death passionately,

like a lusty teenager with his girl racing toward the swimming hole,

discarding his clothes and inhibitions along the way.